inspiration motivation
My garden is growing.
It may seem strange, but its teaching me a lot about competition. You plant a few seeds, some grow, some don’t, they unfurl themselves in the most beautiful manner, maybe there’s too many in one spot, so you have to thin the small ones out, but always, no matter what, no matter how beautiful they appear and how many flowers or fruits they bloom, there’s always a competition for the sun.
I love watching my seedlings hatch and unwind, twisting and opening and blossoming and spreading their little leaf arms towards the sun. Its beautiful, its inspiring, its motivating. It just makes you want to try harder.
When I was school age I hated sports. I hated competitions. I hated competing in general. I never wanted to participate because I always assumed that I would be the last, the loser. I still find myself shying away from competitiveness at times, I think everyone is on their own journey and I’m not sure why people are racing at all. What are we running this rat race for?
I’ve been neglecting this blog for a while because a few events in my personal life that need to be written about, I can’t. I can’t write about them for a number of reasons, though it would benefit me personally to articulate certain things, there are people that read this blog looking for a way to bring me down. There’s no pretty way to say it. There are people that read this blog looking for a way to crush me, to beat me in the “race” to eat some of the pieces of my last meal that I may have dropped along the way. Its annoying and aggravating, especially since its someone I helped out a lot. But a phrase keeps ringing in my ear that some wise lady told me once, always be the bigger person.
So I’m going to be the bigger person, I’m going to keep competing for my own rays of the sun, unfurling and raising my little leaf arms and spreading my roots down deep.
This blog post is going to seem super random for some…so just enjoy the photos…and leave nice comments, I like that 
I have a crush on this marigold…
December 2, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Sorry to hear about your probs. I support the way your handling it, and you’ll get moral support from me and all the other people that like you. Love the picture of the seedling sprout and the naked gardening pics
especially the one right at the bottom which should be called ‘waiting to be touched’
December 2, 2008 at 10:16 pm
pretty pretty pictures. There was one spring when I was deeply aroused by flowers. I think the flower devis were seducing me. Keep digging those roots down deep into the Earth! You could use your spectacular witchy powers to protect yourself from anyone who would do you harm. Remember, they have no power over you.
December 3, 2008 at 8:43 am
I’m jealous of your garden….I would love that much attention from you!
December 3, 2008 at 7:53 pm
wow, that first picture. took me a minute to understand. never seen a pussy photographed like that. you never fail to surprise..
December 3, 2008 at 8:29 pm
It sucks to hear you’re having problems with some people on your blog, I hope it doesn’t make you wanna stop writing and posting pictures because I really enjoy it for reals, even though I don’t always leave comments. I don’t see why anyone would want to be shitty to you, you seem like a really cool chick : ) I really like your pics and hope everything get better for you..
December 4, 2008 at 10:44 am
Jesus… This kind of interpersonal backstabbing stuff just sucks. I’m sorry to hear that you’re going through that.
I’ve never been a big fan of competition. Our society seems hyper-focused on its collective competitive side - just being out to protect one’s interests, screw everyone else, do whatever it takes to get ahead no matter who you step on in the process. There’s no longer a sense of community, so cutthroat competition is the default mode of interaction these days. But so much more can be accomplished through cooperation. More people can lead happier lives. I really wish more of that went on in the world.
December 4, 2008 at 4:55 pm
So sorry to hear of those troubles, I think you’re handling it the right way though you do always need to find an outlet for expression, and writing is clearly one way you express yourself well.
December 7, 2008 at 4:31 pm
The marigold seems to like you too, or at least a very special part of you.
Excellent blog. It’s nice to be able to look inside such a remarkable, enlightened person.