Evolution and Change with Body Image Issues
photo taken by Edwin Cardona
The lame ass catholic (and yes, that is lower case on purpose) middle school that I had the pleasure of attending, I would have to say has been one of the schools that has left the biggest mark on my life, mainly because it was the only school I had been at for three years. When I was growing up, my mom switched schools on me just about every year, sometimes twice in one year.
Some friends (only two, really) that I’ve remained in loose contact with over the years, from high school and middle school, get touchy when it comes to my work in the sex industry saying that I’m not the person I used to be and how much I have changed. I guess I can see their point, but definitely not in the negative sense.
Up until I was 17, I was depressed, overweight and had my nose buried in fantasy novels (mainly Harry Potter, The Wrinkle in Time series, and most things Phillip Pullman) because my real life sucked. Around high school is when I started getting into recreational drug use vs. fantasy novels as an escape.
Right after I turned 17 I got kicked out of my house and thats when I decided to make my real life cool enough to live, rather than spending all of my time reading fantasies or escaping from it.
The first step for me personally in this journey, was to get in shape. I had been overweight most of my life and had crippling insecurities and low self esteem because of it. So, I got up early and started every morning on the beach, running my ass off, literally.
I lost alot of fat, 30 lbs to be exact and I felt pretty good too. But I still felt incomplete. Around this time I started porn and was highly criticized because of my breasts. They weren’t full enough or perky enough and in some scenes they would just have me keep on my bra. This is part of what I hate about the mainstream sex industry, the fact that they try and standardize everything about sexuality and the human body.
Anyways, time went on, I started dancing, which is still one of the best jobs I’ve ever had. One of the only bad parts about it was when guys with three chins would ask you when you were getting your boob job and having to hang out in a smoky club all day. My favorite part about it was the mental exercise I’d get each day by trying to hone down my (for lack of better term) hunting skills with the men who’d walk in.
When I went to Australia is really when I think I began to get over my body issues. Especially when working for IShotMyself.com (<this link will get you a 10% discount on a membership), the main reason being that its an erotic website which pretty much hands over the camera and allows you to do the sexy story telling yourself. This was probably the site that I had the most qualms about working for because I wasn’t sure if I was creative or imaginative enough to do it. But the day came round, Gala handed me a camera and I shot myself out in the Australian bush.
Sequoia- Forest_Diva
The folios I have made there are still the work I will show off the most and am most proud of out of all of my naked picture work. I love the site, I love the concept and I love how it puts the power in the hands of the model/artist/photographer.
Sequoia - Gee_Whiz
Anyways, if you don’t already, get your butt over to IShotMyself.com and sign up for a membership (you’ll get 10%) off with this link!
Then search for Sequoia and look at my folios there!
September 18, 2008 at 6:42 pm
I had a shitty time in school, all the way from kindergarden to 12th grade. All the kids were asshole to me first because a was a tomboy, then in high school they were asshole because I came out. I fucking hate the years I spent in school. I sucks that people were jerks to you when you first started out, but I’m glad you found your place too but like I told you before, you’re a badass chick, so fuck ‘em!
September 18, 2008 at 8:47 pm
hello miss sequoia… like most women, I’ve spent most of my life untrusting and criticizing my body, and it’s gotten me into some bad shit, so to speak. like you (and hopefully most other women?) I’m on the path to healing that self-image bull, and anyway, your writing/photography/energy has been good inspiration
I’m loving it. keep it up sister, for those of us who are on the way to making our lives cool enough to live… big love!
t
September 18, 2008 at 11:47 pm
You should be proud that you can be yourself. Not many people can be themselves. I fight for it everyday. You’ve come a long way in a short time, but you’ve been open enough to learn who you are.
You look beautiful in your pics.
September 20, 2008 at 5:11 am
Yay for ISM!!!
September 20, 2008 at 5:54 pm
Miss Sequoia:
I think your breasts are great as they are. I love the
picture of you in the steam room( I think it would make a great
poster). I have to agree with you that one of the major problems
in the mainstream adult business is the unfortunate desire to make
most of their models/actresses the same. I know for myself that
I like a variety of breast sizes and hair colors etc… I also love to
watch in a DVD when an actress has real breasts and they are
bouncing and moving in a natural way. I think most men and
women would agree that it is a beautiful thing to watch. The adult
company I work for will only hire women with natural breasts which
I hope will be the trend in the future of adult films. I have nothing
against women who decide to get implants as that is their choice but
I do prefer the real thing. I love your back to nature approach as
it reminds me of the first Playboy playmates I saw who had natural
breasts and pubic hair. Keep up the good work on your website
and don’t conform to mainstream as there are too many peroxided,
siliconed and shaven women in the business already. Stay unique.
Ted.
September 22, 2008 at 1:35 am
I can’t believe your breasts were ever a problem- they are so beautiful. Everything about you is. Your Self-Portraiture is very healing. I enjoy your honesty in this post and I found it to be a really interesting read. Yeah, what everyone else said.
Blessings to you with a capital B as in Breasts as in Bonfire as in Bloodfruit.
October 2, 2008 at 9:37 pm
You shaved you pussy but you won’t shave your armpit?
October 2, 2008 at 9:44 pm
you’re a retard tom.
October 31, 2008 at 6:37 pm
I love your body; It´s so delicated and sensual… And what can i say about your body and face expressions. It´s like if you would be making love with the camera. And i´m behind. Tahnk for being different and proud of being it. Sorry for my english; i´m from Europe.
I´d like to see more videos yours. I love your movies in abby. ¿Could you send me pictures yours? I love particularly your face, your breasts your belly and your … sex.
Sorry for my english; i´m from Europe
Kisses